Dan Shaughnessy is literally a large baby.

Dan Shaughnessy is the punchline to all sports writing.

Total fraud.

Welcome home, Nomie.

Noice. Starting an article with a straight-up insult in only five words, that’s impressive.

I met Nomar a few times. I once asked him a stupid question and he still took it in and answered it with a smile.  I can honestly say that Nomar, outside of his work with the press, is one of the most genuinely nice guys I’ve ever seen.  His entire life in the public eye was amazing–he was out doing public events in the community, he even engineered a community outreach program in his two years in Los Angeles.  He never threw a teammate under the bus, he never complained about management, he never asked to be traded. Heck, things were even amicable in Chicago, though he didn’t play there for so long. He was just a charismatic guy who wanted to play baseball.

When you see this kind of article and how he was received positively everywhere else he went, you begin to wonder why he was disgruntled with the Sox …

I hate to be the fly in the punch bowl here, but yesterday’s lovefest involving Nomar Garciaparra and the Red Sox was truly nauseating. If Nomar had been hooked up to a polygraph, the machine would have exploded.

Truly unbelievable. There was Nomar, seated between Larry Lucchino and Theo Epstein, telling us how much he always loved the Red Sox, how much he loved the Nation.

No doubt that the split between Nomar and the Sox was messy, but Nomar did have his best years with the Sox and there was a good relationship there for many years. Time heals all wounds. More pressing, though, is that Big Baby here is blaming Nomar for coming back to the Sox and not the Sox for reaching out to him. Hilariously, Shaughnessy ignores that one or the other extended the handshake on this and that Nomar was partly responsible for at least accepting.

[…] Do not be fooled. Life is long and people change. There is certainly every possibility that Nomar has matured

“I’m sure the woman who was raped has learned her lesson about walking alone at night”

and will henceforth pledge allegiance to Boston and spread the Gospel of the Red Sox. But it’s downright fraudulent to deny or ignore how bad this relationship was at the end. Nomar hated Boston and the Red Sox in 2004, and the Sox knew they had to get rid of him if they had a chance to win a World Series. It was nasty and personal and it was obvious to everyone who was around the team in that iconic season.

I like how Shaughnessy even facetiously refers to the empire-like Red Sox Nation as something to be bowed down to, but doesn’t draw the connection between that and how the public can be swayed.

No. 5 was Positively 4th Street in 2004. It was a drag just to see him in the clubhouse. That’s why he had to go. And that’s why the Sox eventually won.

This is fantastic.  I won’t deny that emotions do have their part in the game, but I don’t think that’s for us to judge or impart some magical powers upon.  The Sox did in fact do better after the trade, but there’s no empirical evidence. Could have been the pitching got better; could’ve been they got lucky. Supposing that they won three playoff serieses, including the first and only series where a team was down 3-0 in games and won, because one player on the 25-man roster was unhappy and was traded away three months prior to that even happening is fucking absurd.

Big Baby goes on for a lil while, airing out the dirty laundry from the pre-Nomar-Red Sox trade, particularly attacking Nomar’s character.

… He developed Achilles’ tendinitis, allegedly after a ball hit him in the batting cage (nobody witnessed this). …

He’s a liar! He fakes injuries!

… Then he split a tendon in his wrist in 2001 and the ball didn’t jump off his bat anymore. He got too muscular and there were more injuries. Looking back at those days and the hideous, shirtless Sports Illustrated cover, it’s natural to wonder whether he succumbed to the temptation of steroids. …

He did steroids! (probably! (maybe not! (this is entirely speculation!)))!!! Nomar, by the way, now has a very good reason to sue the Boston Globe and Shaughnessy for libel, unless Shaughnessy has some secret transcript of a positive steroids test in his back pocket. I would really, really love to see Shaughnessy sweat during that hearing.

… It’s forgiving of the Sox to bring him back,

If you replace “the Sox” with “God” and Lucchino and/or Epstein with “the Pope,” Shaughnessy’s articles make a little more sense.

but there’s no need to reinvent history in the process. Sox fans are too smart. It’s insulting for Epstein, Lucchino, and Garciaparra to insist that this relationship has always been good.

That’s the funny thing, I haven’t seen anyone DENY that the relationship didn’t have a rough patch.  Maybe it’s looked over, but ya know, you don’t really air out dirty laundry during an era of good feelings.  Nomar has always said he loves the fans. He’s happy to be retiring a Red Sock.  Why not let them have their last moment in the sun?

In yesterday’s sorry spirit of disingenuousness and hypocrisy, Garciaparra announced that he has taken a job with ESPN.

Oh, that’s why.

I don’t know Shaughnessy personally, but I’ve yet to meet someone who’s defended him. My favorite moment was when Keith Law laughed at him for calling Jim Rice “feared” to boost Rice’s hall of fame credentials.  Shaughnessy countered that people who follow the stats shouldn’t comment and should “get out of their basements and talk to someone who watched him play.”

Yes, literally, he said this.

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